Hauser: Frazar moving forward with new outlook
By Melanie Hauser, PGATOUR.COM Correspondent
This one is for everyone who has ever questioned themselves or their career choice.
For anyone who has ever wondered if there isn't something else they're supposed to be doing with their life; for anyone who has been brought to their knees when their heart says one thing and their mind tells them something else.
|
Three weeks ago, Harrison Frazar was there.
Tired of the constant struggle; tired of the tears , the tugging and the frustration. Tired of the questions. Ready to let go and fall.
Ready, he thought, to go corporate.
"I had two feet off the step, two hands on the wheel,'' he said. "I was ready to push off."
But once he did surrender, once he was ready to give it over and see what happened ... well, he finally got the answer he wasn't sure would ever come. Frazar won the FedEx St. Jude Classic earlier this month -- his first victory in a 13-year PGA TOUR career.
"What I was questioning the most is where am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to be doing?'' Frazar said. "And I think that this answers the question. It wasn't time for me to be done yet. It wasn't time for me to go focus on a new career and start a new chapter of my life.''
It was, instead, time for him to let go of all the negative things he expected would happen, get out of his own way and simply play the game he loves.
There have been a lot of smiles and tears since Frazar won at TPC Southwind. There has been a U.S. Open, a mini-lapse on Open Sunday and an acceptance that he really is the player everyone else knew he was.
"So many people have said you found out you're a crunch time guy. When your back is against the wall, you respond and fight back,'' Frazar said. "And I've people say when you quit thinking and quit trying so hard and worrying about consequences, look at what happens.''
He said it was just his turn. His time at that line we all seem to face at one point or another. The moment when -- in a faith-based family like his -- all the prayers and discussions collide with the plan.
He doesn't want to turn this into a religious discussion, but, he said, "I do believe God has a plan for us. I just didn't like what the plan was for a while. I wasn't willing to go with it. I was wondering what it was.''
Whether it's faith or reason or whatever guides you, there are always questions.
It might be as simple as how to balance being away from three young sons more than you want. Or not getting to the point you think you should on your timeline.
Frazar struggled with things like his youngest son's broken leg, his oldest son's tough birth, his middle son's knack for finding just the right thing to say at the perfect time. His wife Allison was always there with prayers and support.
"She was trying to get me to trust my ability and quit trying to force it or trying to be this vision of what I felt like I needed to be,'' Frazar said. "I was afraid a little it wouldn't be good enough. What I found out is a lot of people were out there pulling for me ... She just wanted me to accept myself.''
Thirteen years. A total of 355 PGA TOUR starts and no wins, just two seconds. A 59 at q-school in 2008. Two events to make just under a half million. A former top 100 player in the world who was down to 583rd.
Everything changed in Memphis. When Robert Karlsson missed a putt that would have extended a playoff, Frazar was a PGA TOUR winner. He skied to 40th in the FedExCup standings and all but punched his ticket to the Playoffs later this year. He was in the Masters, he was a TOUR winner, he was in the Hyundai Tournament of Champions.
"Four dreams accomplished all at once,'' he said. "In one instant . . . I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to think."
For the last two years, he had turned decent starts into ok or not-so-okay finished. He knew the result before it happened.
"I was so caught up in the result instead of just going out and playing golf and let things take care of themselves,'' he said. "People say that all the time. But being able to really accept what is scripted and what is supposed to happen is the key. That's the key to peace. It's the key to playing and the key to life.
"Concentrate on what you're doing at the moment and let the results happen. I think saying that and believing that are two different things.''
He saw and believed at Memphis. And at the U.S. Open? He had it going until closing 73 left him with a share of 30th. "I kinda checked out (mentally) and you don't' want to check out at a U.S. Open,'' he said. "You're going to struggle if you're not all there.''
Frazar's goal at this week's AT&T National is the same as it was at Memphis. Go play and let it happen. He's currently second on the mini-money list and if he stays there, he'll be off to Royal St. George's to play in his first British Open. No question that if he makes it, he and Allison will be there.
Wednesday he was balancing things again. Breakfast with the family and another hornet's nest kerfuffle with the boys who are 11, almost 9 and 5. Practice. Interviews. And yes, life is good.
He hasn't gotten a chance to say thanks to everyone who has left him texts or voicemails. He has heard from the sports management company who was ready to hire him.
"I got an email from one of the guys saying, 'Congratulations. We're really happy for you and we understand this conversation needs to wait a while.' '' Frazar said. "Very understated. I know they're happy for me.''
The career leap is definitely on hold. And the future is bright.
"I'm surrounded by fantastic people,'' he said. ". . . They've supported me, propped me up, knocked me down when I needed it. They've done all they can.''
And now that he's found the answer he was looking for? He's moving forward.
"I think if it would have happened 3 months or 3 years ago, it would have changed way I looked at myself and my career, but self because it happened when it did, I was able to keep mind focused.
"I have a better acceptance of myself. I came to the conclusion that I value (golf), I love this. I love what I do, but I'm ok deep down with change. It confirms that I accept it.''
It's like that Pat Green song "Wave on Wave", he said. "You just keep riding it wherever it takes you. You just keep going."
You trust. You accept. You finally stop trying to direct your life. You just let it happen.
Melanie Hauser is a columnist for PGATOUR.COM and can be reached at melaniehauser@gmail.com. Her views do not necessarily represent the views of the PGA TOUR. Follow her on Twitter @melaniehauser.
Shop your favorite brand name golf equipment and accessories at SHOP.PGATOUR.COM
FANTASY
PGATOUR.com is part of Turner Sports Digital, part of the Turner Sports & Entertainment Digital Network 