Quick 18: Cruel twists, a TPC moment and a ping-pong pal

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Paul Goydos and caddie Chris Mazziotti had an interesting week from start to finish, and not all of it golf-related.

1. Ever wonder why are players just never seem comfortable on the PLAYERS Stadium Course at TPC Sawgrass? Consider Graeme McDowell's approach at the 18th in the rain-delayed third round. The ball hit the right collar, bounced onto the green, caught the ridge, picked up speed as it rode it and ... plop. Was that another Dye-abolical twist? Let's just say the design and the pin placements and the wind can lead to players feeling as jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof at times.

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2. Need a U.S. Open favorite? How about this week's birthday boy, K.J. Choi? The soon-to-be-41-year old was rock solid tee-to-green last week and he's already won at Congressional in the 2007 AT&T National. He hasn't seen the changes to the course yet, but if he can sharpen his putting between now and then? Put him right up there with Lee Westwood and company.

3. Paul Goydos had one of those TPC moments Thursday. He was playing No. 14 when his caddie Chris Mazziotti noticed a turtle and what he thought was an alligator just sitting by the water hazard to the left. Goydos checked it out and later said "It was a snake the size of an alligator. I thought it was an alligator until it bent, then it slithered.'' It was about 8 inches thick, long and "black, the best I could tell. I didn't get too close. It looked like the Loch Ness monster."

4. After all the young gun talk this year, have to admit it was pretty cool to see THE PLAYERS come down to two fortysomethings. Almost three. Runner-up David Toms is 44 and the 46-year-old Goydos finished one shot out of the playoff. Cooler yet? Q-18 flew out of JAX with Goydos and Chris Stroud, who closed with a 68, and it was seriously neat to see how many random people in the airport -- and on the plane -- congratulated both of them.

5. Great to see Darren Clarke -- who turns 43 this year -- win his 20th tournament and his first in three years. Clarke shot a closing 69 to take the Iberdrola Open from Chris Wood, who imploded with a closing 76. Clarke has now won in eight different countries, including two World Golf Championships in the U.S.

6. What's next for Tiger? Good question. With his Achilles acting up again, Q-18 hopes it's not more jogging. After withdrawing for the second straight year with an injury, there was more uncertainty surrounding the man chasing Jack Nicklaus' record. The second, third and fourth guessing has already begun on every nook and cranny. Working things out take time and he's doing it injured and under the harshest of glares -- 24/7 news. He's also looking a tad old. Don't look for him before The Memorial, if then. A half-healthy Tiger isn't any good to himself or the game.

7. Even former BFF Mark O'Meara weighed in. "I think he still wants that (Jack's record, No. 1 and dominance), but how much, only he can determine. Is the fire burning as bright as it once did? Maybe not. But that's to be expected when you look at the intense pressure that this kid has lived under for the last 20 years of his life."

8. Carter Toms, aged 13, has been his dad's inspiration of late. Playing father-son matches has helped David remember how much he really does love to play and has his game peaking once again. But dad didn't pass up a chance last week to joke that he's not even his son's favorite player. The favorite, of course, would be Rickie Fowler. Carter didn't go all monochromatic Sunday, but he was wearing a sharp shade of turquoise.

9. An interesting stat: When Seve Ballesteros won his first Masters in 1980, there were two Europeans in the field -- Seve and Sandy Lyle. This year there were 22.

10. Take cover. There's a new show on the horizon and you can bet anything will go. And very little will be off-limits. Yes, David Feherty has a 12-part series called "Feherty" -- what else? -- that's debuting on Golf Channel June 20, the Monday after the U.S. Open concludes. Think irreverent. Think side-splitting funny. Just plain think -- that's what he makes you do even when you're laughing.

11. You've heard about the legendary ping-pong matches at the Ryder Cup. And, you probably know Phil Mickelson carries his own paddle with him. But here's one for you -- Jason Dufner dropped $2,000 on a Robo Ping Pong 2040, a robot to practice against. Can you say serious? It's not uncommon to see 500 or 600 balls strewn around his garage/practice area after a practice with one of his, um, 12 paddles. "It's just like a tennis ball machine,'' Dufner said. "You can add topspin, backspin, left-to-right, right-to-left, it'll oscillate and you can make it faster or slower." Whew. And to think he's only been serious about the game for six months. So how does he rank the locker room? Fredrik Jacobsen and Matt Kuchar are scratch, while he and Phil are "about even", say a 6.

12. Why doesn't Padraig Harrington use Twitter? For one, he chirped, he's Irish, which means he can't say anything in 140 characters. For another? "I do things on the golf course, and people watching on television call in." Yes, he can poke fun at those rules questions, too.

13. Seve was so iconic that Q-18 has to share two scathingly brilliant ways to honor him. The first is the move afoot to replace the Harry Vardon figure in the European Tour logo with Seve's fist-pump from his British Open championship at St. Andrews. A no-brainer. Lots of people are behind that one. But it might make sense, too, for the British Empire to issue a £ 5 note with his picture on it. Maybe during the next Open at St. Andrews. They did it for Old Tom Morris and for Jack Nicklaus. Just sayin'.

14. There were so many Seve tributes last week. But one of the best came from world-class caddie Billy Foster, who once worked for Seve and now works for Lee Westwood. "He was the People's Champion, a warrior on the golf course," Foster said. "The passion and desire he showed will never be matched by any other sportsman, never mind any other golfer. I live in a nice house because of him and, because of everything else I've got, I hold him dear to my heart. He was the ultimate shotmaker. You can go on about the 87 titles and the five major championships he won but he'll always be remembered as the man who played shots no one else dared dream of."

15. Players are used to hearing kids clamor for autographs, golf balls, gloves or even caps after a round. But one young-un was a little more creative last week. When Lucas Glover headed past the line, he said, "Hey, can I get your beard?"

16. Brian Orakpo's heart is in the right place, but his alignment, elbow, shoulder turn ... well, you get the idea. Before he teed off in Orakpo's Leukemia Golf Classic, Washington teammate DeAngelo Hall gave a scouting report on the Redskins' defensive end -- "I mean, it's some guys that kind of look the part," Hall said. "You know 'Rak can't play. He's a little too stiff. You can see that in his play on the field, he's a little stiff.'' He was right. Orakpo -- a lefty -- whiffed. Seriously. And anyone who has ever done that -- Q-18 included -- knows how that feels. Orakpo's reaction? "Man, this is harder than pass rushing.''

17. Under the it-runs-in-the-genes listing, we offer this week's eye-popping score. Scottie Verplank, son of Scott, and his Oklahoma Christian School teammates won their third state 2A title last week. This one by 111 shots. No typo. That's 1-1-1. All five Saints -- all with averages in the 70s -- finished in the top seven, with Scottie, a senior, finishing seventh. Dad had to chuckle. Last year, the tournament was shortened due to rain and the Saints won by "sixtysomething." "They have tremendous depth,'' the elder Verplank said. Scottie has just signed to play at NAIA Oklahoma City Community College. ... On another note, Larry Mize's son Robert is headed to Auburn in the fall.

18.Tweet of the week goes to ... TOUR rookie @chris_kirk_: Was just sitting at my gate in ATL and realized my Dad was sitting at the gate across from me. We both travel way too much.

Melanie Hauser is a columnist for PGATOUR.COM and can be reached at melaniehauser@gmail.com. Her views do not necessarily represent the views of the PGA TOUR. Follow her on Twitter @melaniehauser.