Els family tirelessly working for their son and autism awareness
By Melanie Hauser, PGATOUR.COM Correspondent
It's not easy to explain Autism.
To talk about those day-to-day things that affect children and families. To understand how every day is an ongoing balance between the needs of an autistic child and the demands of every day life. To try to reach a place you can't really understand. To help a child with it learn to accept it, cope with it and, yes, thrive.
The disease didn't just touch Ernie and Liezl Els hearts. It changed their lives.
When their son Ben was born in 2002, they had no idea that he was the one-in-91 children who would be diagnosed with the disease. They got glimpses when he didn't crawl or walk on a normal schedule. When he wouldn't look them in the eye. When communication wasn't instant; when it took all they had every day.
Those with autism don't think like we do. They don't filter their thoughts like most people do. They look down, instead of into a crowd because they're overwhelmed; they're bombarded by every little thing and it's too much to process. They often listen, instead, to pay attention to what they need to know. They have routines they don't break, but can, over time, learn to deviate from.
The most severe cases are trapped in their own worlds. The milder cases, like Aspergers Syndrome, display everything from an incredible fixation/knowledge of one thing -- say video games, bugs, airplanes -- to a lack of social skills.
And when something doesn't go the way they expect? It's not the easiest thing deal with.
Chances are, you've seen an autistic child have a meltdown in public. You watched the parent struggle. Unless you knew the signs, you probably shook your head and dismissed it as a parent who couldn't control his/her child.
Ernie and Liezl know the signs. They understand. They know the patience it can take to get through the simplest of tasks.
They also know they want to make a difference. To do something. To take on the disease and put a face on it. To find new and better ways to educate the children and their families. To provide a place where those children can learn and transition into adulthood.
Two years ago they established the Els for Autism Foundation and launched a $30 million capital campaign for a Center for Excellence that would offer professional and medical resources, and therapy and education for children from the entire autism spectrum and help them lead full adult lives. It would, as well, be an avenue for research and global education.
It is, by any standard, an amazing undertaking. One which they have already put $6 million of their own money into.
Last week, Liezl hosted a Tea Party at her home in Jupiter that raised $110,000. Monday, Jack Nicklaus, Graeme McDowell, K.J. Choi, Luke Donald, Dustin Johnson, Adam Scott, Justin Leonard and David Duval were among those who teed it up in Els' third-annual pro-am. The first two years raised a combined $1.5 million. Yesterday, they raised an additional $720,000-plus.
In addition, they've launched the ongoing Els for Autism Golf Challenge to help fund the Center.
Els doesn't talk much about Ben or how his disease has impacted the family other than to say it has. He's fiercely private about details, but extremely passionate about the cause and the Center.
The family moved from just outside London to Florida because there were better programs in the U.S. for Ben. And now? They don't want to see children with autism forgotten. They don't want to see schools push them to the side.
One of the best mainstream glimpses into autism is on NBC's "Parenthood" where young Max Braverman, played by Max Burkholder, suffers from Aspergers. Burkholder does an amazing job of conveying the day-to-day struggles of the condition and several storylines have dealt with the impact on the family, as whole. You see him try to connect with his family and world, to process what's in front of him. You come away understanding this is anything but easy.
How do I know? I have a nephew with Aspergers. He's in college now, thriving and studying to design video games, but the last 20 years has been an education for the entire family.
The Els family is dealing with a more severe form of the disease. But more than that, they are challenging society to do something. To pay attention to a disease that strikes one in every 91 children. To change the way we look at the children, their therapies and their education. To learn to explain what we don't understand.
In less than two months, Els will be inducted into the Hall of Fame. His legacy on the course includes three major championships, 18 PGA TOUR wins and 45 international wins.
His legacy off the course? Just maybe it will be taking on a fight that changes everything we know about and how we deal with autism, because what starts at the Center could indeed change a lot of people's worlds.
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