What if golfers faced off in a Superstars-type contest?

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Chi Chi Rodriguez, Gary Player, Rocco Mediate and Phil Mickelson -- how would they fare in a Superstars-like contest?

Have you seen the latest incarnation of The Superstars program on television this summer? It features eight couples -- some of them athletes, some of them celebrities -- who are paired together to compete for -- uh, ratings?

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The previews shown on the Internet look pretty interesting. So far we know that Terrell Owens can't stay afloat in a kayak, probably because of the enormous size of his ego, and Ali Landry is no relation to former Dallas Cowboys coach Tom Landry because she never wears a hat.

There doesn't appear to be an O.J. Simpson in the mix of contestants. Simpson, best known for his role of Detective Nordberg in the Naked Gun movies, won the second Superstars competition in 1975, long before he set up residence in Nevada for 10 to life. There's not even a Kyle Rote Jr. or a Herschel Walker in the field of this resurrected event, but it should be fairly reported that Jennifer Capriati and Brandi Chastain are compelling in their own way.

What if the PGA TOUR began its own such competition, trying to identify the most versatile athletes among the world's best golfers? Instead of pairing players with a celebrity, we thought it would be better to pair players from the regular TOUR with a player from the Champions Tour. Since this was only an imaginary competition, no FedExCup or Ryder Cup points were allotted and, remember, no wagering is allowed. Here's what it might look like:

Sword fighting: This was a very lopsided competition. The team of Chi Chi Rodriguez and Sergio Garcia, representing the international side of the game, were the easy winners. The years certainly haven't slowed Chi Chi's ability to slay an imaginary bull with his putter.

Sit-ups: This competition was over in a hurry. Gary Player was still going strong while the other seven teams had moved onto something else. In fact, Player was still doing sit-ups an hour after everyone else had stopped and the crew had begun breaking down the set. When Player completed his sit-ups, he went to the fitness trailer to begin his daily workout.

Parking a courtesy car: Each participant was given a large SUV and asked to park it within a regulation space. Unfortunately, no points were awarded in this event. Most players left at least one set of tires on the line and another player (unnamed for his protection) was disqualified when he simply parked in someone else's spot closer to the clubhouse.

Five-card draw: There's no better poker player than Rocco Mediate out there and he was able to team with Raymond Floyd to win this competition. Not saying Raymond didn't contribute to the win, but he kept throwing cards on the table and shouting, "Black jack!"

H-O-R-S-E: Everyone played this backyard basketball game when they were a kid. You make a crazy shot and your opponent has to make the same shot. The favorites in this category didn't disappoint; Phil Mickelson and Seve Ballesteros, two of golf's most creative players, successfully took that ability to the court. Phil overcame the failure to make a 3-foot bank shot and wound up winning on a 60-foot hook shot from the restroom entrance. (Nice read, Bones.)

Karaoke: You would really be surprised at the number of great singing voices out there. More than once the quality of the golfer's voices nearly brought guest judge Simon Cowell to tears. In the end it was the pairing of University of Florida alums Chris DiMarco and Andy Bean who won it all with their rendition of, "You've Got To Fight For the Right to Party." A close second was Tommy Armour III, who went solo with his version of "What's Love Got to Do With It?"

Cliché-a-thon: Each contestant is asked a series of questions and is expected to use clichés and redundant answers to avoid giving any real insight into an issue. Alas, this finished in a tie, as every team showed strength by giving a series of answers that included insightful phrases like "at the end of the day," "play one shot at a time," and "it is what it is." (Gary Player was actually disqualified for giving legitimate, thoughtful answers.)

Obstacle course: In this final event -- which awarded double points -- a contestant was timed on their ability to: confirm and sign their scorecards, give cursory answers to a satellite radio reporter, provide minimal information to other reporters, and walk briskly through a crowd of 100 fans and into the parking lot for an easy exit. Again, no winner was determined when every contestant from the Champions Tour went to the clubhouse for the postgame buffet. After all, it was almost 5 p.m. and seniors could still get a 10 percent discount.

Could a Superstars-type contest for golf ever make it on TV? No one knows, but there are other golf-related programs in the work. GOLF CHANNEL has plans for a one-hour show in which industry officials, sponsors and players try to find a name for Annika Sorenstam's baby. The leader in the clubhouse is "Golf Digest" if it's a boy and "Lexus" if it's a girl. Annika has already eliminated "Trump Towers" from consideration.

But the big programming winner might be a new show that involves 10 golf writers, who sit around for an hour and complain about bad parking, bad food, bad access and brag about their hotel reward points and upgrades. CBS has already purchased rights to the pilot, which they consider a potential "game changer." Stay tuned.

Stan Awtrey is a freelance columnist for PGATOUR.COM. His views do not necessarily represent the views of the PGA TOUR.