Awtrey: Interviewing the forgotten North Course
By Stan Awtrey, PGATOUR.COM Contributor
For years, the North Course at Torrey Pines has stood by in silence as the golf world has gone out of its way to lavish praise on his brother, the South Course. Today, on the eve of the annual Buck Invitational, the North Course has agreed to break his silence and share his feelings on what it is like to be obscured by the shadow of a more famous sibling.
The North Course will be used for the first two rounds of the Buick Invitational this week, then will step aside in favor of the South Course for the weekend. In this exclusive interview, the North Course bared his soul and spoke of the hurt that comes from coexisting with a famous brother.
Reporter: So what is it like to live in the shadow of such a famous brother?
North: Why don't you ask Blake Woods that question? He's got it even worse, living in Tiger's shadow. He's a good golfer, too, a 4 handicap at Mission Hills, but it's like he doesn't even exist. (Editor's note: He doesn't exist. Tiger Woods does not have a brother. The North Course was misinformed.)
Reporter: How long has there been this emotional gulf between you and the South Course?
North: I guess it started when we were kids. South would make fun of me because he could see San Diego. My best view was of Black's Beach and there are usually a bunch of naked people over there. In my opinion -- and I'm just one golf course -- the average person doesn't need to be seen naked in public. I kept my eyes closed most of the time.
Reporter: Were you and South close growing up?
North: From the time we were just a gleam in the eye of architect William F. Bell, we shared everything: the clubhouse, the coastline, the kikuya, the carts. His 18th green and my first tee have always been close to each other. We were inseparable.
Reporter: When did you first sense that closeness start to tear away?
North: I guess it was around 2001, when they hired that architect Rees Jones to come in and fancy up South. It didn't bother me at first. Everyone always said South was tougher, but I didn't care about that. I liked being the "friendly" course that everyone enjoyed playing. The fact South was longer didn't really bother me.
Reporter: What did Rees Jones do that was so bad? How did he widen the gap between you two brothers?
North: It was crazy, really. He came in with a bunch of bulldozers and earth-moving machines and began to change things around. Ten new tees, one of them so far back I thought it was going to leave the property. Four new greens. Four! I thought it was overkill. You don't see Denny's adding two more strips of bacon and another egg to that Grand Slam Breakfast, do you?
Reporter: Is that a bit of jealousy in the tone of your voice? You knew they were trying to lure the U.S. Open to San Diego.
North: Jealousy? Not really, but 7,607 yards? Is that really necessary? I guess if that's what you want, it's OK. Sounds to me like a stupid excuse to get a U.S. Open, so they could sell a lot of $100 shirts in that pro shop. And what's wrong with getting a U.S. Open the old-fashioned way: Slipping an envelope full of cash under the door at night?
Reporter: But are you really being fair to South? It wasn't his idea to host the U.S. Open. Someone else came up with that plan. In a sense, he was used.
North: He loved every minute of it. Every time Tiger took a step and limped, South was there basking in the glory. Rocco grinning and playing the game of his life. ... It's a good thing South wasn't ask to talk, though.
Reporter: Why's that?
North: He has a speech impediment. Stutters just awful. It's a shame, really. Sleeps with a stuffed bear, too.
Reporter: Stop being petty. What are your real issues?
North: Here's the deal. I'm really a prettier golf course. My views of the Pacific Ocean are just as striking. I have higher bluffs -- and they're natural, too. My No. 6 is the best hole out here, better than anything South has to offer. Don't take my word. It was one of those course rating groups that said it. I get fog. I get wind. I get mist. I just don't get any respect.
Reporter: Perhaps that 700 yard difference between you and South does make a difference. That's like playing two additional holes. No wonder the scores are higher over there.
North: (Obviously flustered.) I get fog. I get wind. I get mist. Just ask Brandt Snedeker which course he prefers. He shot a 61 on me! I'm better. I want to be on network TV, too. I want exposure.
(At that point North went off a lengthy tangent about Free Masonry, the absence of the gold standard, Hillary Clinton's pantsuits, and socialized medicine. These topics are addressed regularly on North's daily blog and on his Facebook page.)
In a sense of fairness, the South Course was offered a chance to respond ands issued this statement:
"For years we've known my brother was unstable. Parts of his fairway have been dropping into the ravines. His golf carts are cracked. We pray for him daily and hope our differences can be resolved before the next U.S. Open comes to town, when officials will again use North for a temporary driving range and staging area for network television. Please enjoy the weekend telecast of the Buick Invitational and play Torrey Pines on your next visit to San Diego. We take all major credit cards and envelopes of cash slipped under the door at night."
Stan Awtrey is a freelance columnist for PGATOUR.COM. His views do not necessarily reflect the views of the PGA TOUR.
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