T.J.'s Take: Glamorous life?

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Glamorous. It's a word many people associate with the lives of players on the PGA TOUR. And why not? Shoot, these guys play for million-dollar purses on a weekly basis.

I recall a conversation I had a few years back with a caddy whose name will remain anonymous. I asked, "So will I be seeing you at such-and-such a tournament in a few weeks?" This particular upcoming tournament was in a rather less-than-glamorous town.

T.J. Auclair

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He then asked, "Do they have a Four Seasons or a Ritz-Carlton there?"

I laughed and said, "I seriously doubt that."

He replied, "Then probably not. My guy travels with his wife and his wife will only go to tournaments if they can stay at a Four Seasons or a Ritz."

And this caddy wasn't even looping for a guy in the top 50 of the world ranking. Tough life, right?

That's why I busted a gut while watching the television coverage of the Zurich Classic of New Orleans on Sunday. NBC announcer Dan Hicks relayed several stories of players who caught flights Saturday after figuring they'd be victims of the TOUR's new second-cut rule.

The rule states that the top 70 and ties make the 36-hole cut. When that number is 78 or more, a second cut is made after 54 holes to reduce the final-round field to the top 70 and ties. Players who miss the 54-hole cut still receive the appropriate prize money and FedExCup points.

There were a number of guys who left New Orleans before the third round was complete, but because weather forced the remainder of the third round into Sunday (the guys that left had completed their respective third rounds on Saturday before the weather set in), organizers decided to skip the new cut rule to keep play moving along on Sunday.

There was the story of Retief Goosen, who had flown home to Orlando on his private plane. Once he checked his cell phone and realized he was going to have to play, the Goose had his pilot turn around and head back to the Big Easy. Goosen's regular caddy had already headed home to Europe, so Retief's pilot had to fill in on Sunday. Ironically, Goosen carded a 69 Sunday -- his best round of the week -- with his pilot playing the part of navigator on the course. Private plane, fill-in caddy -- pretty glamorous.

But then there was my favorite golf-related story in recent memory. It involved the colorful Alex Cejka from Germany.

Cejka was so convinced he wouldn't have a tee time on Sunday that he took a commercial flight back to his U.S. base in Las Vegas. When he landed and checked his cell phone, Cejka realized he had made a big mistake and had to get back to New Orleans.

In a turn of events that would make the parents from the movie Home Alone blush, Cejka boarded a plane minutes after landing in Las Vegas to get back to the furthest point east as possible. In this instance, that meant landing in Houston, Texas at midnight Saturday. From there, he rented a car, slammed three Red Bull energy drinks to stay awake and drove six hours to the TPC Louisiana. He arrived at the course in a T-shirt and jeans not long before his final-round tee time.

Cejka had to borrow some clothes and -- get this -- a rental set of 2-year-old clubs with one wedge and a 3-year-old driver. None of these sticks were even from the same manufacturer Cejka uses. With the precision with which the professionals have their clubs tweaked, this is about the same as teaching a 16-year-old with a new driver's license how to drive a stick-shift.

Cejka passed the test with flying colors with a set that -- according to the TPC Louisiana Web site -- you can rent for $60, plus tax. He shot his best score of the week -- a 1-under-par 71 to tie for 75th. He didn't pop the clutch once, so to speak.

The first moral of this story is, the next time you think that life on the PGA TOUR is glamorous keep in mind that a huge reason for that is dedication. Cejka's chances of winning on Sunday were zilch, but rather than blow it off, he manned up, pulled an all-nighter and did the best he could.

The second moral of this story is, the next time a buddy in your foursome complains about how his game is off because of the jacked up rental clubs he's using and asks for more strokes, tell him where to go.

And I'm not talking about New Orleans, Las Vegas, or Houston.