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By Brett Avery
The Fantasy Insider
PGATOUR.COM Contributor

The garment bag is packed and waiting beside the back door as The Fantasy Insider wades through his Monday night research and writing session.

He's heading out early Tuesday to the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am for another of those celebrity blog gigs on pgatour.com's dime. He had so much fun following the celebs at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic that he's piling up a few thousand more frequent flier miles and wandering around 17 Mile Drive on your behalf.

Sure, he's going to spend the tournament's first two days thumbing out some pithy comments on his BlackBerry, giving some inside-the-ropes dish and generally avoiding every opportunity to slag Kenny G.

But deep down, girls and boys, TFI undertakes this intrepid adventure to get a better look at the TOUR players you need to know to make informed, front-running selections that will dominate in League Championship and Salary Cap Cup.

In fact, TFI was telling one of his fantasy golf acquaintances just the other day ...

Loyal reader here. This loyal reader finds your columns interesting. Loyal reader plays fantasy golf but has a question: Why do you write like Mike Tyson talks, in the third person? Are you somehow insecure? Did you have a difficult upbringing?

--Loyal reader (a.k.a. Stuart)

Um, OK, guess it's time for This Week's Brilliant Question.

Few things in life warm TFI's heart like an overflowing mailbag. The opportunity to steer people in the right direction by soothing fears of League Championship procedure and settling other worrisome conundrums lends a certain texture to his life.

It's also an excellent way to avoid shoveling the driveway or mowing the yard, depending on the season.

TFI typically receives a few of these messages each month, but he's seen a spike in this season's first month. Perhaps it's the higher participation rates in the fantasy games, perhaps it's the result of hot stove chatter on a cold winter's afternoon. Maybe it's an attempt by a writer to emasculate TFI for one (or more) of his recent selections. Sometimes it's the wonderment of perceived mental instability.

Considering that spike, it's time to review the salient points. For long-time readers an apology for traversing old ground but we'll make it as entertaining as possible.

TFI began writing this column in 2004, the veritable dark ages of fantasy golf. He got the call just before that season began and in composing the introductory column it just spilled out in the third person.

Mike Tyson? Oh, that's too fast company for TFI. He has no tattoos, cattle brands, scars or other identifying features. In fact, the closest he came to Tyson was his vocal pitch while trying to imitate the Donna Summers lines in singing "No More Tears" (obviously in TFI's pre-puberty, church choir soprano era).

To the upbringing, TFI will say this: No worse than any other family with three boys and a Toyota Corolla wagon, no worse than anyone else raised north of Buffalo, no worse than anyone else infected by the golf's mental spasms beginning at age 7.

Let's be honest, Stuart: Columnists fight inner demons. Doesn't matter whether the topic is world peace or contract bridge. There's always a deadline looming and the quest for better, more insightful, more dependable. There's a reason so many plagiarism and fabrication scandals involve columnists.

But writing a fantasy sports column is doubly evil. Especially in an Internet age that archives each horrible sentence written and crummy selection.

Chances are half the people who read, say, a political column believe it's delusional and the other half believe it's prescient. When it comes to sports, though, you are your score.

And on the Internet, everyone knows if your picks were dogs.

Remember last week, when TFI waved everyone off Billy Mayfair's season debut at the FBR Open, noting his return from extended cancer treatments? Yes, that Mayfair, the guy who placed solo fifth.

Or the way he made the convincing case to take Phil Mickelson and Mark Calcavecchia? Yes, that Mickelson and that Calcavecchia, the guys who missed the cut by a shot.

Sure, TFI's in 274th place overall after five weeks of Salary Cap Cup. Terrific, but that just means 273 other team owners convinced that, at least as of this week, they can pick better than some crummy, delusional columnist.

No matter. Tyson or not, TFI's coming back each week until he gets this right.

Two players TFI might pick up/trade for to get onto his roster this week:

• Mike Weir. This season's shaping for him up like most, with a habitually sluggish start (two mid-pack finishes including a tie for 32nd in last week's FBR Open). Then he gets to the Monterey Peninsula and all the woes drop away (top 10 in six of the last seven AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Ams). Also playing to his advantage is a forecast for dreary weather (at least a 30 percent chance of rain each day).

• Padraig Harrington. Since his last appearance in a TOUR event (tied for 27th in the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational last August) he's won on the European Tour (Alfred Dunhill Links) and in Japan (Dunlop-Phoenix Tournament) and had a half-dozen top-six placings. Nasty weather at Monterey for his AT&T debut? Just like home.

Two players TFI might waive/drop/trade away to get off his roster this week:

• Phil Mickelson. OK, so he's on the no-drop list and you'd need a parental note for the teacher just to even think about ditching him from the roster. But all you Salary Cap Cup players can avoid him. And at this rate he'll plummet from his present No. 6 in the Official World Ranking, to No. 9 and you can give him the boot. So. Over. Him.

• Jeff Maggert. As compadre the TOUR Insider points out this week, Jeff Maggert took a seat on the bench after nine holes in last week's FBR Open after aggravating the ribs he cracked in December. You can float him to the bottom of a 12-man roster until he gets healthy but better to free that space and look at picking him up when he returns.

Rotisserie results for Expert League at FBR Open: 54.5 points (fourth). Second in greens, scrambling and stroke average, third in 300+ drives, sand saves and FedExCup points but absolutely dreadful in fairways (seventh). Overall, though, TFI couldn't be happier: First with 55.0 points, three ahead of stat-freak-among-men Mike Vitti of pgatour.com.

Rotisserie lineup for Expert League at AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am: K.J. Choi, Padraig Harrington, Kevin Sutherland, Bubba Watson. Active but not in lineup: Scott Gutschewski. Not active: Cameron Beckman, Tim Clark, Anders Hansen, Geoff Ogilvy, Ryan Palmer, Steve Stricker, David Toms.

Match-play results for Public League 3359 at FBR Open: TFI 9.5, St. Pete Crumbsnatcher's 8.5. Overall: 2-2 (three-way tie for second in the West Division). Not sure how this happened, but TFI won only three of the first 12 matches (with one halved), yet won the week on Sunday and with the FedExCup points bonus. Who says clean living doesn't pay?

Match-play lineup for Public League 3359 at AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am: Danny G's Bad Boys (2-2) vs. TFI (2-2). Roster move: Dropped Fredrik Jacobson, added Craig Barlow. Active: Vijay Singh, Davis Love III, Daniel Chopra, Craig Barlow. Reserves: Jonathan Byrd, Troy Matteson. Not in field: Andrew Buckle, Mark Calcavecchia, Anders Hansen, Zach Johnson, Ernie Els, Nick O'Hern.

Salary Cap Cup results for FBR Open: The main lineup of Phil Mickelson (0 FedEx Cup points, missed cut), Charles Howell III (201 points, tied 23rd), Andrew Buckle (0 points, missed cut), John Rollins (2,700 points, second) and Mark Calcavecchia (0 points, missed cut) earned 2,901 points and placed 2,585th. Through Week 5 it totaled 20,892 points and ranked 274th. (!)

The "Hey, buddy" backup lineup of Vijay Singh (838 points, seventh), K.J. Choi (0 points, missed cut), Stewart Cink (50 points, tied 69th), Justin Leonard (0 points, missed cut) and Nick Watney (135, tied 32nd) earned 1,023 points and placed 10,335th. Through Week 5 it totaled 8,444 points and ranked 12,239th.

Week 5 winner: InTheDrink 8,763 (one of two at that total).

Segment One leader: coozly 29,140.

Salary Cap Cup lineup for AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am: Main lineup, Luke Donald $290,250, Mike Weir $254,500, Daniel Chopra $157,000, Nick Watney $150,500, Craig Barlow $127,750. Total: $980,000. "Hey, buddy" backup lineup, Vijay Singh $293,500, Padraig Harrington $287,000, Charley Hoffman $209,000, Joe Ogilvie $118,000, Robert Garrigus $75,000. Total: $982,500.

Have a question or comment for TFI? Send it to him at brettavery@aol.com. Please be sure to include your name, where you're from, the name of your team and, if it relates to League Championship, the name of your league and whether you're competing in the rotisserie or match-play format.